Despite anyone's best intentions, when it comes to weight loss and healthy habits, we all have our Weak Moments -- those times when it seems that we always "slip-up", no matter how much we intended to stick to our plan. The sad truth is, these little slip-ups do add up -- to more mysterious pounds, and increased frustration as you wonder why all your hard work isn't producing the results you desire. That's right -- even if you're working hard to eat well most of the time, these Weak Moments can be the undoing of all your sacrifice and determinationÖso it's time to fight that urge to splurge! 

This exercise will first help you identify the events or times when you feel you "lose control" and veer off course. These Weak Moments take many forms, ranging from late-night munchies to stress eating at the office to snack attacks at the movies. Once you identify these critical moments, we're going to help you "re-program", so you can maintain a clear head, and stay in control. 

Rest assured -- despite what you may suspect, nacho chips do not have the ability to use Jedi Mind Tricks to control your behavior -- you are the one calling the shots. Believe it or not it is possible to stay in control in these Weak Moments (and no, you haven't tried this before)! 

Identifying your Weak Moments
The first step in this exercise will be to identify the times that are most difficult to you -- your Top 4 Weak Moments. To identify your Weak Moments, ask yourself these questions:
     -At what times do you get the feeling that you've lost control?
     -When is it that you continually find yourself "slipping up" on your healthy living plan? 
     -At what point do you continually find yourself feeling guilty and disappointed about your choices? 

Try to identify patterns of behavior that you would like to take control of -- not isolated incidents. Below are some common Weak Moments to consider as you brainstorm: 

In the Workplace
Between workday stress, social protocol, and those never-ending lunch meetings, it's no wonder the workplace can be a minefield of overeating opportunity!
Bingeing on sweets, bagels, or baked goods that are lying around the office; overeating at business meals or client functions; splurging at weekly office lunches with your co-workers; stress eating throughout the day; grabbing unhealthy foods when you're on the go; giving into temptation at happy hour; eating unhealthy snacks to get you through the 4 o'clock slump. 

Social Settings
Do you like to eat, drink and be merry? Believe it or not, these can be mutually exclusive events.
Overeating when you dine out; making poor choices when you go out for certain types of cuisine (Mexican, Italian, Chinese, fast food etc.); feeling social pressure when you eat with certain groups of friends; unhealthy snacking at movies or other events; emotional eating in stressful situations (e.g., family dinners, dates, parties, etc.); overeating when you eat with the kids; weddings, christenings, New Year's celebrations, birthdays, bar/bat mitzvahs, retirement dinners. 

Emotional Eating
In times of emotional stress, it's easy to use food as the first line of defense in combating negative emotions. What are your emotional eating trigger events?
Fights with your spouse; bad days at the office; your weekly phone call with your sister; the carpool; paying the bills; working at home/doing homework; presentations; lunch with your boss; household chores; stressful meetings; the in-laws; babysitting the neighbor's kids. 

Timing Is Everything
Everyone has a weak time of the day, week or month -- what's yours?
Late-night snacking; a sweet tooth activated by watching television; weekend free-for-all eating; PMS bingeing; raiding the refrigerator when you get home from work or school; an insatiable need for a bedtime snack; post-workout overeating; mid-morning munchies; late-afternoon sugar fix. 

Now it's your turn 
Using the questions and sample scenarios on the previous page as a guide, brainstorm 10 of your Weak Moments. 

My Top 10 Weak Moments

1. 

2. 

3. 

4. 

5. 

6. 

7. 

8. 

9. 

10. 

Now go back to this list, and pick out your top 4 scenarios -- the ones that bother you the most, or which you feel are doing the most damage to your eating plan. Circle these 4, and remember them for the next half of the exercise. 

In the interest of maintaining focus, you should start small, and concentrate on working through just these 4 scenarios for now. But keep the other 6 in mind, so you can apply some of the principles you learn here to other situations in the future. 

Ready...Action!
If your life were a movie, you would be the screenwriter, director, and the main character (among other things). Unfortunately, in times like the 4 Weak Moments you just identified, it might seem like the movie just isn't turning out the way you had originally intended -- worse yet, it might even feel like you've been cast in the role of playing your own worst enemy! 

Despite what you may think, it is important for you to recognize that you are making a choice in these situations. But what's happening in these moments is that your vision is clouded, and for one reason or another you're not seeing clearly when you are making choices -- perhaps you're distracted, stressed, overwhelmed, or simply unwilling to face what lies beneath the surface to see the painful feelings that are driving your behavior. The key is to learn how to maintain your focus and sense of purpose during these events, so that you can choose thoughtfully and deliberately rather than blindly and automatically. You might think that's easier said than done, but the secret to making thoughtful choices is what we call mental rehearsal. 

Mental rehearsal involves visualizing where you want to go, and what it will feel like to be free of this particular shackle. By visualizing each scenario as you would like it to turn out, you will clear your sight of the other distractions that lull you into making automated, reflexive choices. In this exercise, you will rehearse each of your 4 Weak Moments in your head -- but this time, you visualize your ideal ending, in which you eat what you want, feel great, and stay in control of your thoughts, actions and emotions. To the skeptics out there, this might sound like a cheesy or potentially futile exercise. But don't write it off without giving it a try -- it really has worked for hundreds of our clients. 

Make no mistake: your weak moments are not just an issue of willpower. Often, the choices you make are ingrained responses that stem from deeply rooted patterns of behavior. In order to successfully overcome these ingrained behaviors, you will have to train yourself to have new reflexes and reactions to the situations -- much like learning to ride a bike. When you're learning to ride a bike, you develop new responses and ways to compensate, and you practice until it comes naturally. Luckily, you don't have to subject yourself to the buffet line at your best friend's wedding on a weekly basis in order to practice your new behaviors -- this is where mental rehearsal comes in. 

Mental rehearsal allows you to practice your ideal scenario until it comes as naturally as riding a bike. How does it work? A recent study by scientists at the National Institute of Health demonstrates the process. In this study, the brain patterns of the volunteers were monitored as they learned a simple five-finger exercise on the piano. One group practiced daily for 2 hours, while another group sat at the piano for 2 hours, hitting the keys without learning anything. Those in the first group showed tremendous changes in the part of the brain dealing with the use of hand muscles. "They more than tripled the size of their brain's motor maps," said Dr. Alvaro Pascal-Leone, one of the researchers. Volunteers who just tickled the ivories aimlessly showed little or no change in their brain patterns. 

But the biggest surprise came from volunteers in a third group who were taught the piano exercise, but were only allowed to rehearse it mentally, not manually, while looking at the keyboard. After 5 days, their brain patterns were identical to the ones who had actually practiced the song, the researchers reported. This is the power of mental rehearsal. 

Developing your own mental rehearsal
To develop your mental rehearsal of these 4 events, you should apply the same visualization techniques you used in the first exercise that I sent you. 

When you visualize your goals, you want them to be bright and distinct. You want the sounds to be cheerful. You want the feeling to be comfortable and upbeat. If your visual images are faded and unfocused, you want to make them brighter and clearer. If you imagine how others would see you, you want to change your vision so you are inside yourself and can feel how it is to be there. 

A step-by-step guide to Mental Rehearsal 

1) Start out with the weakest of your Weak Moments -- the one you'd really like to change the most. Develop a rough sketch of how you'd like to change your behavior in that scenario -- including the thoughts, emotions and actions that you would like to have in your "ideal" version. 

2) Now start to add in some details. Break these details down into imaginary steps. Think and write down your own view of how you would act and behave in order to move toward this very targeted goal. Be specific and go into the nitty-gritty details--don't spare a thought, no matter how insignificant you might think it is. 

3) Now you're ready to write a step-by-step description of exactly what your ideal experience would actually be like. 

For example:
"We normally go to Patsy's for Italian food on Tuesday and Thursdays. I'm imagining myself getting in the car to go to Patsy's. It's a sunny day, I'm in a good mood, and I'm determined to eat well at lunch. I put in my favorite CD and sing as I drive. As I get in to the parking lot of Patsy's, I make sure I remind myself to eat well, because I know that I'll feel better afterward, as well as look better in the long run. I imagine myself walking up the stairs and sitting down with my friends. Then the bread plate comes--but I had an apple and a bottle of water about an hour ago, so I'm not starving. I focus on the conversation instead of the breadbasket. When the waiter comes to take our order, I order the grilled chicken salad (light vinaigrette dressing on the side, hold the blue cheese) and a cup of minestrone soup. Leaving Patsy's, having eaten a healthy meal and not going off my program...let's see...I'm in my car on the way back to the office, I'm driving, and instead of feeling bloated, guilty, and disappointed in myself, I feel as accomplished, like I'm on my way to living a healthy life, losing weight, looking better...I even imagine myself fitting into a size-8 dress..." 

You see the idea is to go through in your mind and imagine every aspect of the script, this way you will be prepared to act and react as you intend to -- you will be mentally rehearsed. Be creative and thoughtful about the process: "I will also ask the waitperson to bring out a plate of vegetables so I can snack on that while we wait to order." 

You must go through and really understand the experience with conscious thought. When you set goals, it's important to think through the motions and visualize yourself successfully achieving these goals. It helps to think through the details and gives you time to plan in advance. Don't fly blind--give yourself this advantage--you deserve it. 

4) Revisit your mental rehearsal frequently. Give it positive energy with strong affirmations and feelings that the goal is real and reachable. 

5) Rerun the mental rehearsal in your head when you find yourself in your Weak Moment -- the details should be as familiar to you as the words and notes to your favorite song. 

Work on mentally rehearsing your Weak Moments one at a time, starting with the situation you think is the most critical to your well being. After you feel comfortable with the technique and your progress with that one, first, stop to congratulate yourself -- this is a major step toward a new healthier you! Next, repeat these steps with one or two of your other Weak Moments. Eventually, you'll find the mental rehearsal process will become more automatic, and more effective. 

Remember, don't stop with just your weak food moments -- you can apply this technique to many situations. For instance, many of our clients have used the same technique to break their pattern of finding excuses to skip a workout -- by rehearsing how they knew they would react to the alarm before their morning run, or their feelings of lethargy on their way to an evening aerobics class, they were able to overcome their natural, comfortable, automatic choices, in favor of intentional, thoughtful choices made with foresight. Beyond health and fitness, you can apply this technique to other areas of your life: how you react in times of stress, keeping your composure during big presentations at work, speaking thoughtfully in conversations that don't turn out the way you'd like, or keeping a clear head during situations in which you often find yourself becoming angry or withdrawn. 

Above all, remember: 
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. 

Copyright 2001, Breaking the Pattern